The summit mist drowned me in thrilling uncertainty, climbing to my own sense of uncharted territory, unable to see the steps that led me there. The Stairway to Hheaven climb in Oahu is a crazy, disjointed maze of danger, but the thrill is second to nothing I've ever experienced before.
Every step, on that steep, uncertain path is a victory.
There was a point along the crater ridge at the top, when the cloud we sat within thinned and I could see the pin-sized houses in the valley below, I thought to myself, this is it, this is how I'm going to die. And suddenly all my anxieties dissolved. Nothing was more important than that moment, and that was enough to get me to the next step. And the one after. And the one that finally led to solid ground below.
This next decade is going to test all the uncertain steps to reclaiming myself and fully grasping who I'm supposed to become.
One thing I've realized, though, is I need to stop trying to full myself into thinking I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. And that the path ahead is supposed to be easy or laid out before me. Or that the ground is level.
Or that the next step isn't some kind of fall.
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