Something Old, Something New, Part I

dis shitz bananaz....

I decided that the night before their wedding day was the most appropriate time to have something written down here. Now, despite the relentless fun I’ve had here in Dubuque, Iowa, the amount of tension and stress is a bit high…not to mention how nervous yours truly feels when I actually have to be up there in front of all of these people.

Our fourteen-hour drive here was actually not that bad. It’s never hard to have a fun time with Audra, and so our hours and miles were filled with movie games, twenty questions, the geography game, much karaoke and some mishaps with food. Also, we took some good pictures and she felt the need to prepare me for meeting her family this week. Altogether, trekking across America and over the Mississippi River was fun and amazing, though I couldn’t see doing it on a regular basis. I traveled four states (and drove for a lot of the time), passed the Appalachian mountains and the Ohio river valley to venture into the American Midwest, which meant corn, flatlands, blue skies and miles and miles of road that disappears into the horizon.

This week has been amazing though. Finally, I have a much more holistic view of this country. I met Audra’s family, a cornucopia of close dear relatives and insane (evil) stepsiblings (cough cough TRACY cough cough). Her sister Sarah and her brother-in-law Brian were amazing Dubuque hosts, helping Audra ease into the wedding preparations and giving me the insider’s perspective on the rest of the family. Haven’t met her father yet, and we stayed in his house for three days (kinda gives you the idea of what he’s like). Her stepmother is strange and apparently spiteful and her mother and mother’s boyfriend own over 150 snakes on the second floor of their house. Boge, Audra’s friend from Karate here is a sagely, good-humored man who seemed to take well to having another Asian in the wedding. Finally met Ben’s sister, who seemed very nice, and it was good to see Chuck and Tom Langston again, but I could’ve done without Ben’s mom’s outbursts (didn’t make Ben very happy). But I saw some really great puppies (they were actually kittens, but I kept calling them puppies for some reason) and we had our car break down in the middle of farmland. Awesome.

Joe and Hailee came today, thank god, and they just made the atmosphere a little lighter, especially at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner picnic, also where Audra and Ben gave me a beer tankard for a gift that beautifully had engraved on it, “Reverend ‘All-Star’ Don.” I really started missing friends from home too, and can’t help but feel that I’m fucking up a lot of things here, even though I know maybe its just Audra blowing off steam and de-stressing when she gives me that look. I hope I haven’t actually fucked anything up.

There’s a ton to do here in Dubuque. The hotel is amazing; and once again I have my own room with (get this) WIRELESS INTERNET, which is why I’m able to write this here in the first place. It is nice to be out of State College, and this trip to Dubuque was a nice test to see what it would be like on a more permanent basis. But now, the vacation part has halted for a bit, and images of tomorrow keep running through my head and making me nervous. But Audra and Ben’s amazing hospitality (they’ve paid for meals, gas, gifts, hotel room and return flight home; holy shit…that’s a lot) has been beyond amazing, and I can’t possibly figure out how to repay them for it. I don’t think they realize how much being their Officiant is an honor and privilege for ME, so all of this was not necessary, but will not go unappreciated. Hopefully, too, I haven’t been too annoying asking “do you guys need anything” or “is there anything else you need for tomorrow” or even just by hanging around their room and stuff…I don’t think they’ve had much time alone together since Ben arrived, and I already feel like I’m intruding on their privacy.
But they’ve just been so nice and they deserve such a good wedding that I want to make sure nothing goes wrong for them tomorrow. You can say that after having met some of their families and watching how they’ve reacted to some of the more unfortunate aspects of this week, I’ve gotten pretty protective of the two of them. This will be interesting…and fun. Enough people know how to line-dance to Earth, Wind & Fire’s September, I’m going to help sing their first dance, Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, and the couple only have hours before they will be married. I’m really excited.







And I’m really nervous. But I’m really excited.

To Be Continued.