Sunday, February 12, 2006


So I've been labeled "the most irresponsible person" ever by none but my very own mother. Can I feel any worse? Seeing as how teaching martial arts twice a week, having PSFA meetings during the week and Barrio Fiesta practices on top of that every weekend from early in the morning through the day, using up time after classes to work on schoolwork and extra things just to try and catch up, not to mention a host of other obligations take up time, I can feel nothing else but responsibility right now. In fact, I'm overwhelmed. I've neglected things like friends and I feel like I've missed tons of things I've been invited to already, and then I lay low and keep to myself in the studio and then go home MAYBE at 2 am every night. I haven't seen manyone really, and I miss people, and then I look like the selfish, inconsiderate son because I can't make the time to be in Tyrone because I've got all of these things going on...

I can't take it. Too much pressure. And then that DAMN label. Irresponsible. It's times like this I feel like I should have claimed independence SO long ago and gone away and not have gone to college and feel responsibility only to myself and seen what would have happened.

I don't even have any fucking time to find me someone for Valentine's Day this year. I am sleep deprived, and I feel this pressure ALL the time to get somewhere and be somewhere and then move on to the next thing.

And then I happen to eavesdrop on conversations on the street about some girl's having gotten drunk and hearing about her boyfriend cheating on her when he was drunk and the weekend was terrible because some bitch danced with her boyfriend and then something about not being able to go home and how her parents wouldn't pay for her clothes anymore. What the fuck. Go buy yourself some REAL PROBLEMS princess. And stop getting drunk so much. Bitch.

Good points:
-Paultober was awesome.
-Barrio is coming up. [those of you whose events I've neglected to go to, if it means ANYTHING to you, please come to barrio]
-My birthday is coming up.
-I get to watch my annual alone "Valentine's Day" chick flick this year...any suggestions?

My boba says, enjoy your life. Easier said. I tried to trivialize my problems today as I always do, but this time I just couldn't do it. It's consuming me. I don't really know how to deal with that. Writing helped. Just a little bit.