In the Morning

There was this promise that was made
[the quiet talking-to-yourself-out-loud kind]
That no more sad words were to be said in this journal
[like absolutely none]
That we'd try not to have to cling to memories to alleviate
the loneliness
and guilt
and longing
and jealousy
and regret

But I found the last sad song to sing
[you know the words to this one]
Its in the [he]art. See I get lost in it
[and sometimes I'm convinced I let myself]

To put pencil to paper and let it glide across
as if guided by an unseen presence
Hours will go by before I force myself
to have to breath and stop [think about]

creating.

I consider myself lucky in doing what i love doing
and do it every day [every day]

Do what I do without worry or wanting
without goal or grief
restraint or relevance

to what is happening
how I'm feeling
or those out there enveloped
in their own lives and experiences

And in the midst of all this created happiness...
the deepest longing
[the thing we all seek but are always to stupid to admit we need]
is just one [ONE just one] person to share it all with

Someone who will care not only in this moment
but the next one too
[and if you're lucky at least maybe the moment after that]

What a beautiful thing it is to know
In the final moments of consciousness
on any given day [night] chock full of
happiness
regret
fear
longing
obligation
restraint
frustration
bliss
peace [and all the other residents
in the spectrum of human emotion
we are all guilty of mouthing off about
but don't have a terribly firm understanding of]

that you'd have that person
whose eyes you can look into and get lost in
before you slip away...

...and that they will be there
right beside you in the morning

to bring it all back again