Friday, December 02, 2005

Compromise

Such is life; the part of the semeseter where you learn to build that psychological brick wall and re-evaluate the nature of your relationships has arrived. And you look back at all the pictures and words and meals and trips and ticketstubs and memories and you decide…do you want to be the kind of person that pushes people away because you are convinced you’ll never see them again…or the person that ultimately compromises themselves in order to learn to say goodbye and recognize that the time you’ve spent together was worthwhile and precious.

And you decide it’s worth the pain never to forget.

Joe is leaving town.

Kate and Brendan are going to move to Denver.

People will have graduated when I return.

We’re leaving Rome. And each other.

And this spring is the time for my generation to graduate. Class of 2006 will leave me behind.

So I am sitting here writing this entry bathed in the harsh fluorescent lights of a drawing room that overlooks the Tiber River. And there is a beautiful sunset outside. And there is great music playing in here. And the drivers are still honking their horns. And the tables have been moved around and there’s charcoal and dust everywhere, the smell of an overheated flashbulb permeates. But the room is empty save for me and Mario. And he’s there, erasing and drawing and erasing and drawing and getting lost in his world, and here I am writing this and thinking about a million things and getting lost in my own fluorescent world. And its things like that I have to say goodbye to. Again.

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